Nothing is going right. I feel like I have no control over anything. I guess I could take control of my weight, but that is so hard. And dessert is so easy and available. Why do I do this to myself? Why do I go back for that second ice cream sandwich...........whispers- Because it's easier than losing weight
I know, but do I really want to lose weight, isnt it easier to just be fat and stay fat? I dont want to have to work at it. Why cant I just have a fast matabolism and a thyroid that works, or even better, how about a thyroid that works over time, eh? eh? I could definitely go for that.
Is the food really good...well if I am honest..I mean.....well no.......not really. I mean it's tasty but its not that good. Its just so much easier to be fat. I dont want to exercise, it's sweaty, sticky, and it makes me hurt.
Its easier just to sit on this couch and consume food and watch the inches add on.
Do I really want to wear cute clothes again? Yeah, I do, I am so sick of wearing things that fit but are not what I like. Things that a much older woman that doesnt feel sexy would wear. I am a sex pot on the inside, I really want to be a sex pot on the outside too.
I think my husband is sabotaging me. Well not in a mean way, he just has it in the back of his head that if I lose weight Ill leave him. But I wouldnt, I love that man to death and he loves me even when I am a bitch. Everytime I ask for something he brings more than I ask for, and I eat it. I do. Why? I dont know, maybe because I love him.
So what now?